Abandoned

I know, I haven't written anything in absolutely ages. I've been too upset. Daddy has gone on holiday to India today for a month! My friend Nina was going to come to stay to keep me company, but then she couldn't, so I've had to go to stay at another friend's house. It's ok I suppose, I have my own room which is nice, but I miss my house. And now I'm going to miss Daddy too.

Mewwwwwww.

I did try to persuade him not to go, I used all my cutest tricks, I cuddled his leg, I brought him toys in the morning, I joined him in the bath. But he's still gone. India! I don't even know where that is. I wonder if they have cats there?

I've been hiding a lot as I'm still not sure about this new place. I'm still eating though. No need to worry about me pining away to nothingness .... yet.

The dawn of a new era ...

Or the end of civilisation as we know it? I'm going to be pontificating a bit today.

Very worrying news from the banks yesterday, RBS shares just kept going down and down, biggest corporate loss in British history apparently. I was particularly concerned to learn that RBS is worth more than the whole British economy. How is that possible? Surely RBS is a part of the British economy ... especially as we own 70% of it.

I liked that the head of the new Lloyds Banking Group, which is made up of loads of other banks, said that actually it was a good thing that their shares had "only" fallen 30% on the first day of trading. That's like me saying that I "only" knocked one glass on the floor and not three.

I still blame the government. They should have regulated the banks better. They shouldn't have allowed them to create those bundled up assets which no-one understands.

I'm going off to watch the inauguration now. I'm still not sure about Obama. He is, after all, a dog person. All that stuff about a puppy for the White House ... chuh. I should live in the White House. I would match the paintwork and I bet I would never have to worry about food there. I'm going to write to him and suggest he adopts me.

Fat cat

Daddy laughed at my last post, he says I am too fat to be a model! He says I've been eating too many biscuits and my bottom's got really big. I don't think it looks that big, and anyway, it's all muscle.




me admiring my small, pert bottom.




In other news, Daddy felt sorry for me having to eat food from Lidl so I'm back on the proper cat food, phew. Those hours in front of the mirror practising my hurt, reproachful look clearly worked.

I know I'm supposed to be writing about the world economic meltdown, but I'm a bit bored with it at the moment. Maybe next week. In the meantime, I think my nascent modelling career is much more interesting.

working cat

After my last post I got to thinking what I could do to take more control of my life, to buy myself my own food and treats etc. I read the other day that some cats in Japan are rented out to people who don't have their own pets. I don't think I could do that though. Aside from the whole prostitution aspect to it, I hate people stroking me. People always see a cat and think that we want to be stroked, and maybe some needy cats enjoy it, but it really annoys me when a human rubs their grubby hands over my nice clean fur. I try to give them a quick nip to indicate that I don't like it, but then they just think I want to "play".

I am thinking of trying to get some modelling work instead, people always tell me how handsome I am and how pretty my white fur is. Here's one of my portfolio shots:










What do you think?

Lidl

The descent into humiliation has been slow, but steady. It's hard for me, being a cat, I don't have any control over my life, or more importantly, the budget spent on my food. First it was the biscuits (branded to supermarket). Then the food (pouches to tins). Now ... Daddy has started buying my food in Lidl. Lidl. I know it's becoming a bit trendy now to boast about money saved at Lidl or Aldi or Primark, but I don't care about trendy! I care about my food being made by a recognised cat food manufacturer. Or failing that, M&S, which as you all know, I love dearly.

It's very worrying. I'm started to worry about what will become of me, what if Daddy can't afford to look after me at all any more? That's what first inspired me to write this blog in the first place, hearing about people having to get rid of their pets because of the credit crunch. I've started practising for being a homeless cat.

Fortunately I know inside that it's never going to happen. Daddy's friends are always threatening to kidnap me, being so handsome and all, so I'm sure I'll find a home ... somewhere.

misplaced optimism

I think I was feeling prematurely positive yesterday about the economy. The drop in interest rates is just weird, it just makes it even harder for banks to make a profit by screwing over their customers. Poor banks. Apparently even more of them might be nationalised. I don't like the idea of Gordon Brown running everything. Maybe that's his evil plan, to destabilise the economy so much so that he can take it over and just be the most powerful prime minister ever?? He does have delusions of grandeur, he did talk about "saving the world, I mean, the economy", the other day.

I heard that the Government is considering propping up the economy by printing more money, which just sounds like madness. We are going to turn into Zimbabwe before we know it, with a can of cat food costing £50,000 or something.

Oh dear.

better

Sorry about my rant the other day, I'm feeling much better, Christmas is but a distant memory. My human (still not quite ready to call him Daddy again) is feeling a bit guilty and has been good, playing fetch with me lots and giving me little treats.

I'm also feeling less worried about the economy, maybe the worst is over? Or is that just my youthful naivety speaking? I was concerned that a big retailer would go under, but they all seem ok, and of course I'm relieved that M&S is ok (despite shutting lots of shops), I just love Marks and Spencers.

(That's me searching for my treats in a M&S bag)





Finally, who could be cross when there are such cute creatures as these in the world? Yes I know they are dogs, who are obviously evil personified, but these are white fluffy dogs so they are just about ok. I wonder if I could get some black spots and be a Dalma-cat?